Violent Cartoons

What happened to the violent cartoons of yesteryear?What happened to all the anvil dropping and the mallet swinging from my childhood?One day I’m watching Elmer Fudd shoot a hole in Daffy Duck and the next thing I know, I turn on the TV to find SpongeBob catching jelly fish, it’s a horrible transition.

I’m not implying that there aren’t any violent cartoons out there; I’m just saying that they aren’t being made for the audience that cartoons were intended for.I was raised on Tom and Jerry, The Simpsons, and GI Joe, and I turned out fine… right?I think the parents of today should take a page out of the parents of yesterday’s book and let their kids change the channel from Dora the Explorer to something classic like Woody Woodpecker, or even Johnny Bravo. Learning about colors and how to share are important lessons, but they’re not realistic.

The old-school cartoons might not have been teaching you a different language (though I would like to remind you of Speedy Gonzales), or telling you how to make new friends, but they contained morals that you don’t find very often these days. When Wiley Coyote failed to catch the Road Runner time and time again, did he give up? Did he complain? Did he even try to return his faulty ACME equipment and get a refund? No! He stayed in there with determination and pride while he came up with yet another crazy scheme. This taught us kids the important lesson of fortitude, and when at the end of the day Wiley had still not caught the Road Runner, it taught us the very real and practical lesson which has been echoed by the rolling stones, and that is “You can’t always get what you want” These classic cartoons may have been a tad bit more violent, and admittedly a little rough around the edges, but they weren’t all bad.

Have you noticed that cartoon violence had gone down, but live action violence has sky-rocketed? What if kids are watching Maury or CSI instead of cartoons? You can’t honestly say that cartoon violence is worse than real portrayals of dead people, prostitutes, and junkies. This is yet another reason to switch back to classic cartoons; I don’t remember a single episode of the Flintstones where they had to figure out who the baby-daddy was.

I realize that my information isn’t supported by statistics and instead of looking online or watching the news for bias statistics, I’ve decided to do an experiment of my own. What I’m doing is testing the violent cartoons on a group of five kids, another five kids will watch PBS, and a controlled group of two will stare out the window all day.Then, as they grow up; I will make of note how aggressive they are, or how many times they have violent outbursts. It’s only been two days, but already two of the goats have violent tendencies. Surprisingly they were the ones that were watching PBS.They really didn’t want to watch PBS, and I don’t blame them.

Oh, I should have mentioned that the “kids” are baby goats because that’s kind of important. Human babies are so hard to buy these days, but I hope to take my research to the next step soon. I hear Britney Spears might be selling her kids at a good price; you pay less for damaged goods, Zing!

In closing, turn off the magically happy cartoons once and a while and give the kids a chance to see a group of stoners and scared great dane catch ghosts, a cat trying to eat a mouse, or my personal favorite, a cat trying to eat a bird. Eventually the true morals will sink in, and they will be a better person because of it. Trust me, I’ve been watching this stuff for years and my therapist tells me that I’m the most well-adjusted out of all of my many personalities.